Executives of the big oil companies yesterday reportedly pranced around their respective boardrooms in togas, drinking lots of scotch and laughing like hyenas as their quarterly profits came in just a hair under $10 billion. ExxonMobil, Royal Dutch Shell and the others now have so much cash on hand, they literally don't know what to do with it. Makes you feel real sorry for them, doesn't it? Don't forget to send them all thank you cards in January after you re-finance your home to pay for your latest heating bill.

So, in honor of the oil company execs, we decided to go on a mission to help them spend their newfound wealth — on eBay.

This fully-restored classic is supposedly one of only 16 made. As the seller puts it, it's "unequivocally rare, desirable, spectacular, and flawless."

The current bid stands at a mere $116,200, but the reserve price hasn't been hit yet. In the time you read this far, ExxonMobil already made enough profit to buy it. This would make a sweet grocery-getter in Houston, wouldn't it?

Don't drive around Florida in this!

Currently going for only $960,209.99 (reserve not yet met, of course), this ultra-rare, ultra-cool "look at how much money I have!" street-legal race car is available to the highest bidder. According to the seller, this very limited production car is 1 of only 2 yellow with tan interior made. Formula 1 driver Michael Schumacher owns the other.

Just make sure you have a full tank before you whiz by all those people waiting in line at the Shell station down the street!

What kind of filthy rich oil company exec would you be if you couldn't entertain your friends from Washington on a luxury yacht? Not to worry, we've got your rear covered!

This 60-foot Cantiere Nautico VZ yacht will only set you back a mere $1.3M, which, as we believe is your weekly bonus amount, isn't it? According to the seller, the boat is elegantly furnished with 4 cabins, each with 2 berths, and of course each with its own bath/toilette. The boat is also registered in the Turks and Caicos Islands and therefore has a British West Indies, T&C Flag. Won't you come across as the savvy world traveler!

Hide from angry consumers in the Gulf.

As the seller states, "It is important to emphasize the quality of the materials used to finish the interior. Stepping into the cockpit we find an elegant saloon furnished with a long built-in fitment on the port side and a comfortable divan with a table on the starboard side. The kitchen, completely equipped, is the ideal place for the preparation of delicious meals. There is a comfortable dining room for six to eight people. There are two sleeping areas: one astern, with a smart double bedroom and another bunk-bedded cabin; and the other forward, consisting of two double cabins, each with a bath, and very elegant owners' suite."

Don't miss out on this bargain bass boat!

With all that extra cash around, you'll of course need to buy several vacation homes. Why not establish yourself in swanky Greenwich, CT so you can compare bank accounts or walk down to I-95 so you can watch the daily traffic jams and sing "We're in the money?"

There's a quaint Brick Georgian Town House up for grabs on eBay in Greenwich for only $2.95 million. You'll have to contact the realtor yourself for more details, but it looks nice.

Who are we kidding? That's child's play. Heck, you made more money last week than all of Europe did in a year! Go big. Really big. That's why we thought this 5-star, all-suite Hotel in Positano, Italy on the Amalfi Coast should be part of your family's holdings.

Buy a hotel with your weekly bonus money.

"Located in the picturesque village of Positano, this five star hotel offers 26 unique, luxury suites, each with grand terraces that look out to the sapphire waters of the Tyrrhenian Sea. Each suite is beautifully decorated with tiled floors, elegant furniture and silky linens. Every amenity is provided: rooftop swimming pool, elevator, room service, air conditioning, satellite television, Internet access, laundry service, and parking garage. The full service restaurant offers an authentic bar and the best dining featuring traditional cuisine," the seller says.

Just don't get all crazy and throw a million dollar toga birthday party for your spouse, or people might raise their eyebrows.

Finally, what obscenely wealthy rich guy would be complete without a piece of art hanging on the wall that he can tell his friends he paid a lot of money for? Well, eBay has The Orient Express by F. Schachter available for you to bid on. It will only set you back a tad over $500,000.

"The summer was hot and the train was filled will people from Europe and Asia. The windows were left open as the train flew along bridges, and past ancient cities. As the heat became more oppressive, the passengers took off their clothes and lay naked in their cabins with the doors left wide. It was the orient express heading west in the summer of 1969. This painting represents that ride. The painting, painted in late 1969, measures 122cm by 152cm (4' x 5'), the medium is oil on masonite, and is framed in a beautiful wooden frame," reads the description.

Wow, imagine if that happened on Amtrak!

So, what's new?
It was another fairly quiet week for eBay this week, if you count getting backhanded by Wall Street analysts and blindsided by your biggest advertising partner that they're going to compete with you soon.

Crafty snoops found Google has been testing its own classified/sell anything you want for nothing site called GoogleBase. In case you missed it, read about it here and here.

Happy Halloween!

Devin Comiskey is the Managing Editor of ECommerce-Guide.com. He's dressing up as ExxonMobil's CEO Lee R. Raymond for Halloween. Scary!!