Poor Scooter. Of all the folks in the White House, he's the one taking the fall for outing a CIA agent. The past few weeks have seen a circus in Washington, D.C. and Mr. Libby is playing the part of a clown. We've been thinking about this all week and wonder if he could have avoided all this if he'd just done his homework — by shopping on eBay.

The first thing we think Scooter should have done was taking a few practice lie detector tests. Surprisingly, these gadgets are plentiful on eBay. We liked the Electric Shock Lie Detector we found for only $27.

According to the seller, "The Electric Shock Lie Detector is perfect for parties as well as interrogating suspected international terrorists. Simply place your hand onto the hand plate and wait for your friends, or enemies, to start to ask you questions. Just remember, the truth sometimes hurts, but telling lies will hurt much more!"

Ya hear that, Scooter?

Lie and get zapped!

The seller says this device is not recommended for people with heart problems, people of a nervous disposition, or sissies. They take no responsibility for divorces, punch-ups, irreparable family arguments, broken crockery, ruined Christmases, or expensive litigation caused by any inaccurate readings.

We wonder if they'd take responsibility for Watergate scandals?

Scooter should have practiced.

Assuming Scooter is a fairly smart guy, one would think he'd cover his rear end the best he could. Well, he would have done better had he had two key spy gadgets: a cell phone with a spy camera and a spy tape recorder.

Now, we're usually fairly pessimistic, so we're going to go ahead and predict Scooter or one of his White House chums might spend some time in the slammer. We all know prisons aren't known for their exquisite interior decoration, so we're going to put together a care package for Scooter and friends. Our favorite is the Bart Simpson "I didn't do it!" poster.

This laminated poster has America's most lovable delinquent with the saying "I didn't do it. Nobody saw me do it. You can't prove anything." We say, blame Bart. Remember, it's all about denial, Scooter!

Showering in prison can also reportedly be a harrowing experience. That's why Scooter and Friends will need to play it tough. We found the perfect item! Yes, it's a Mr. T. Soap-on-a-rope!

The outside of the box says: "The outside of the box says : Mr. T says: Clean is mean! Don't be a dope, Buy my soap !" We pity the fool who messes with Scooter!

The Mr. T Prison Protection Plan.

We hear prison can be quite boring, so we figure Scooter is going to need some entertainment. Why not a box set of HBO's prison drama, Oz? We aren't fans of the show, so we went ahead and picked season five on a whim. Maybe he'll learn a thing or two.

Libby who?

When not watching movies, letter writing is another popular activity in the can. For only a couple of bucks, you can get this "Just a note" writing set.

We can envision the letters now: "Dear George, Just a note to say thanks...for nothing." "Dear Dick, Just a note to say, where ya been lately? Haven't heard from you in a while..."

Finally, if Scooter wants to hightail it out of town before his trial, then we've got the perfect getaway vehicle: a scooter. Actually, it's a 2005 Suzuki Burgman 400 Scooter for about $5k.

We think Scooter might be able to keep the Secret Service goons at bay in the Washington area afternoon traffic jams darting between black SUVs and the like while heading towards freedom in this sleek, silver two-wheeler.

Scooter's getaway scooter.

So, What's New?
In case you missed it, YAEC (yet another eBay competitor) debuted in the U.S. this week. eBid announced its entry into the U.S. market, armed with more listings than the other wannabes that have come and gone this year. eBid actually has a track record overseas and is reportedly the second-largest auction site in the UK. So, despite our skepticism, we think this may be one of the few that might actually survive. Maybe.

Itvibe.com reports today that a menacing eBay phishing gang leader received a four-year sentence after being convicted of stealing more than £200,000. While eBayers continue to be plagued by bogus emails and other scams, it's nice to know there is some justice being done out there.

Devin Comiskey is the Managing Editor of ECommerce-Guide.com and doesn't know anything about anyone. He swears.