Seven years ago, when I began selling on eBay, many seller auction presentations, rather than being friendly and welcoming, were combative. It seemed every other sale contained a list of rules, regulations and warnings - sometimes threatening dire consequences just short of frontier justice to any and all who dared defy the sellers terms: "Those with less than 10 feedbacks WILL HAVE THEIR BIDS REMOVED!," "Renegers will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law!," Do not even THINK of bidding if you live outside the US!," and the like, were fairly commonplace. It seemed the seller attitude was more 'shoot first, ask questions later.'
Simultaneously, there was little, to no, patience for high maintenance buyers who needed reassurance throughout the auction process - from bidding to receiving their purchases. Feedback wars abounded, with negative feedbacks sent out at the first glitch in any sale.
There was some cause for this: At the time, eBay was growing at a stunning rate, with its security mechanisms lagging behind the site's ability to police the exponentially expanding user base.
But that was then and this is now. eBay's security department now numbers over 800 people, and most, if not all of the site's early flakes and flim-flam artists have been weeded-out, or 'reformed.' Negative feedbacks are now recognized for the nuclear deterrent that they are - send one and you'll get one back - and are far less often used than in past years.
Just as telling, if not more so, many combative sellers have learned the hard way that you catch more flies with honey than vinegar: buyers are turned off quickly when they see a sale with more rules than a prison, and a seller attitude that seems to view potential bidders as the enemy.
Still, despite the maturing process, there remains much rudeness and lack of communication on eBay, in part due to the nature of the beast. In a community as large as eBay, it is possible to meet virtually every personality you can encounter in 'real life,' except eBayers present themselves only via words and symbols on a screen. Some feel because they are physically separated from the other party, they are free to suspend the civility and common courtesy they would have to extend in a face-to-face encounter. Further, there is a constant influx of new buyers and sellers on the site, as well as a steady transition of 'dormant' users back to an 'active' mode. Both groups bring wariness and/or old habits of conducting business online. Pictures sell goods on eBay, but words sell you.
Communication Skills
In cyberspace, where buyers and sellers are two dimensional ghosts who can neither see each other nor even hear each other's voices, the words you write are all important in helping a buyer or seller form a positive opinion of you.
In general, eBay users fall into three categories: civil, larcenous or skittish. The vast majority is civil and cooperative. Whether buyers or sellers, they simply want their purchases or payment with a minimum of hassle, and are appreciative of all who provide the same.
A small minority is larcenous, hopelessly belligerent, and/or psychologically unbalanced. There is little that can be done with these people other than reporting the thieves and renegers and putting as much distance as possible between yourself and the rest of them. (The blocked bidders list should be your dumping ground for troublemakers of all ilks; and never communicate with someone who is suspect using your email address--with which they can spam, and plague you into eternity.)
Here, we are concerned with the third group: the slightly to terminally skittish and wary. Whether due to overactive imaginations or negative experience, some eBayer's are not capable of trusting anyone on first acquaintance, regardless of feedback history, or any other factor. Perhaps due to all the red flags raised in the media regarding online scams, this group seems to have been growing in recent years.
The best way to defuse the distrust is to make a good first impression. Buyers click on a seller's auction because they are interested in what is being sold. Their interest continues through a good, honest description of the item presented in a polite, friendly and welcoming manner. It turns south with threatening or needless warnings and terms. Logic and proportion should be the guiding principle: because one or two buyers have stiffed you should not be cause to make your description read like a real estate contract.
For instance, a completely reliable seller with over 10,000 feedbacks that this writer buys from on a regular basis, lists in his terms: "We are not responsible for items selling over a $100 if you do not buy insurance!" Actually, by law, if the seller receives money by mail it is incumbent on the seller to make sure the merchandise reaches the buyer, and be able to prove it. In this seller's opinion, sellers are better served by including delivery confirmation on every parcel, and offering insurance at cost. Delivery trace is just 45 or 55 cents on a parcel, and for whatever else that can be said about them, the USPS rarely loses packages. This affords a low cost form of insurance that will deter the larcenous from any bright ideas. More on shipping later.
The online high maintenance customer is reliable in nearly all instances when handled with patience - which begins with emails.
E-mails: To Bid or Not to Bid
That is often the question behind e-mails from prospective buyers seeking reassurance. Being a seller with over a thousand feedbacks, 100 percent positive, is not always enough to reassure buyers that you are on the level and your item is as described. Answer inquiry e-mails as promptly as possible. There are many fish in the eBay sea. Getting back to the person two days later will probably cost you the bid.
Most buyers require just one e-mail and the rest of the transaction rolls as smooth as mercury across a table; others need repeated e-mails of reassurance throughout the auction process. Some users request confirmations of when payments are received, items shipped, and anxiously and sometimes redundantly e-mail until their item arrives. Others cannot be cajoled, threatened or sweet-talked into sending their mailing addresses online. When encountering these folk it is best not to make the issue a test of wills, and just go with the flow. Once you've established a relationship of trust with the wary, they will buy from you again.
"What will it take...?"
Occasionally sellers receive e-mails asking what price will it take or offering a price to a seller to end the sale early. Besides being against eBay rules, this should raise a red flag for any seller. Usually the prospective buyer, sensing the seller does not know the value of what their offering, hopes to 'steal' the item before the serious bidding begins - which in today's eBay is usually in the last hours or minutes of the sale. For every eBayer who goes on to sell his entire barn full of widgets to the 'what will it take' guy, there are a many more sellers who live to regret it. Most such birds will fly off when you ask them to make an offer, and of those who make an offer, many will not follow through.
A good rule of thumb is to not make or accept a 'What'll it take?' proposition. But for those who can't resist, the fairest and safest way to deal with an offer too good to refuse, is to add a "Buy It Now" price to the auction listing which at least allows the sale to keep running if the prospective buyer backs out. And hope for the best. From a buyer's standpoint, besides being the polite way to make an offer, 'Buy It Now' is safe in that it keeps the transaction on the site and subject to eBay rules.
Much more frequently, users will e-mail sellers after the close of a failed auction stating that they missed the end of the sale and ask if the seller be re-listing the item or be willing to sell it outright for a price. While off-eBay sales save the seller the re-listing and closing fees, it also breaks eBay rules and can leave the seller subject to penalties. On the other hand, it works. Nearly all potential buyers who e-mail this seller follow through with payment if an agreement is reached. My guess is that there are very few veteran eBay sellers who have not accepted a post sale offer at the minimum bid - nor despite eBay warnings, been penalized for it.
Annoying to most sellers, are users who contact the seller following a failed sale making offers that are very easy to refuse - usually at a fraction of the minimum bid, "shipping included." Rarely are these worded "Would you consider lowering the price?." Instead, an unsigned single sentence statement - "I'll pay $___ for it" - is the norm. It is a mistake to dignify insulting offers with a reply, as the shameless are easily encouraged.
Little Things Mean a Lot
Always include a receipt in your shipment. This may seem a common sense part of any transaction, but a surprising number of sellers couldn't be bothered. It is both unprofessional and rude to omit sending a receipt with any shipment. High volume sellers have to generate receipts from a template, but a hand-written thank you on any receipt is always appreciated. It's a small detail but it goes miles in personalizing a cold Internet transaction.
Conversely, many buyers who send snail-mail payments do not identify the item they are paying for beyond the item number, if that. While this provides a trace point, it can be annoying rooting through dozens or more completed transactions - matching the check to the buyer, particularly when a few words solves the riddle instantly.
eBay rules prohibit contacting under-bidders or -sellers for off-eBay transactions yet it happens all the time. On reserve auctions of high-ticket items, it can be seen as good manners, not to mention good business, to e-mail serious high bidders who did not meet the reserve, offering a selling price. This is also banned, and also happens all the time. (Serious bidders are those who bid close to the reserve, as opposed to those who bid at or near the minimum as a form of auction tracking or simply curiosity.) Frequently, bidders who do not meet a reserve will e-mail the seller. Those who do not - including under bidders on sell-through reserve sales - appreciate knowing the reserve or receiving a simple thanks for their bids. This can persuade the bidders to bookmark the seller for future consideration.